There is a sacred moment that happens at the end of Phase 1—one that cannot be rushed, forced, or manufactured. It is the moment when a woman begins to tell the truth of her story out loud. Here at Phasing Out of Trauma, we never expect to hear the polished version. We always encourage woman to go beyond the minimized version. And because we've all held our own experiences, it's always safe to move past version shaped by what others could handle, and into what really happened. 

At the end of our Phase 1 Study journey, we hold space for each other to hear their stories. And when it happens, we enter the sacred space of empowerment. Because the trauma these women have held silenced their voices. It fragmented their experiences. It convinced them that what happened to them either too much to hold or not enough to matter. Because trauma tangles our memories, buries our voice, and teaches us to survive by staying quiet. But healing begins here in Phase 1 when God enters the story intentionally, and together with Him the pieces of our whole start to come back together—when what was once hidden is gently, courageously brought into the light.

At the end of Phase 1 in Phasing Out of Trauma, we invite women to begin telling their story in a way that feels safe, honoring, and paced. Not everything. Not all at once. Just what is ready. And what I have witnessed in these moments just last week was been nothing short of holy.

One incredible woman stood before us and shared her story with a clarity, structure, and depth that felt like listening to a TED Talk. There was power in her voice—not because her story was easy to hear, but because she had begun to see it differently. She made connections between moments in her life that once felt isolated and confusing. She could trace the thread—how early wounds had woven themselves through later experiences—and for the first time, she wasn’t just reliving it… she was understanding it. And in that understanding, there was empowerment. You could feel it.

Another woman showed us a different kind of courage.

She named, in real time, how hard it was to even be there. How difficult it felt to admit where she was. How even in a room filled with safety, compassion, and vulnerability, there was still a voice inside her that feared judgment. That wanted to stay hidden. And yet—by saying that out loud—she broke through it.

Her honesty became the doorway.

What followed was raw. Sacred. Unfiltered. She shared parts of her story that had been held tightly for so long, and as she offered these pieces of her story to her fellowship group, I could feel the room hold her—not with shock, not with pity, but with understanding. With reverence. That is what happens when a story is received with care. It transforms not only the one who tells it, but the space around her.

And then there was another woman, who spoke with a coherence we had never heard from her before. Not because her story had suddenly become simple, but because something within her had softened. She gave herself space. She gave herself grace. She extended mercy inward in a way she hadn’t been able to before. And as she spoke, you could hear it—the difference. The gentleness. The ownership. The beginning of integration.

These are the moments that remind me: healing is not about fixing a person.

Healing is about restoring our voice.

Because when a woman tells her story in a safe, compassionate environment, something profound happens in her brain and body. What was once fragmented begins to organize. What was once overwhelming becomes nameable. What was once carried alone is now witnessed. And in that witnessing, the story begins to lose its power to isolate—and instead becomes a pathway to connection, meaning, and healing.

We are not meant to carry our stories in silence.

We are meant to tell them. Not with an intention to relive the pain—but to reclaim the narrative stolen by others who abused power and authority in our lives. Before we closed our time together, I offered the women a small glimpse of what comes next. A preview of how their stories might begin to read at the end of Phase 2—after they’ve had time to heal their impressions of God, to come to know Him for who He truly is, and to begin seeing their lives through a different lens. A lens not shaped by trauma alone, but by truth. By presence. By a God who sees.

Because the story does not end in Phase 1. It begins there. And as it unfolds, what was once a story of survival slowly becomes a story of redemption.

I am deeply overwhelmed—in the best way—to be invited into these spaces. To sit in the presence of women who are choosing, day by day, to face what they’ve carried and to begin again. It is an honor I don’t take lightly.

And if you are reading this while holding your own story—still untold, still heavy, still uncertain—I want you to know this:

You do not have to carry it alone.

When you are ready, there is a place for your story too. And it would be an honor to walk with you.

Phase 14 marks a sacred turning point in the Phasing Out of Trauma journey. It is the second phase in Moving Beyond Our Trauma—a place where healing begins to shift from understanding what happened to us toward compassionately addressing how we learned to survive it.

Many women enter this phase carrying a painful realization:

“Sometimes I feel like I am my own worst enemy.”

This awareness can feel heavy, even shame-inducing, but Phase 14 invites us to see it differently—not as evidence of failure, but as an invitation into deeper mercy.

The Logic of Survival

When we experience trauma—especially trauma that defies logic, safety, or reason—our nervous systems and minds do what they must to survive. In the absence of protection and healthy support, we create whatever logic we can to make sense of the world and to keep ourselves going.

That survival logic often shapes:

• our thoughts

• our behaviors

• our relationships

• our coping strategies

• our life choices

While those choices may have helped us survive then, many of them became unhealthy or harmful over time—to ourselves and sometimes to others.

Some survivors became overly controlling in an attempt to create safety.
Some turned to substances, food, sex, or work to numb pain or seek connection.
Some lived with unprocessed rage.
Some withdrew into depression and neglect.

None of these behaviors appeared out of nowhere.
They grew in soil shaped by trauma, fear, arrested development, and unmet needs.

This Is Phase is about Awareness and Healing

Phase 14 is not about beating yourself up.
It is not about replaying regret.
It is not about reliving shame.

Instead, think of this phase like removing a splinter that has been festering under the skin.

You don’t shame yourself for having a splinter.
You notice it.
You gently remove it.
You apply medicine.
And you allow healing to happen.

You are now strong enough—grounded enough—to look honestly at behaviors that once protected you but no longer serve you. And you can do so without cruelty toward yourself.

Forgiving the Woman Who Was Trying to Survive

In this phase, you are invited to forgive yourself for behaviors that grew out of trauma.

For example:

• A woman who became promiscuous while searching for love can forgive herself—and offer compassion to the younger version of herself who just wanted to be held and chosen.

• A woman who learned to control others to feel safe can forgive herself for not knowing another way at the time.

• A woman who numbed herself to survive unbearable pain can forgive herself for choosing relief when no support was available.

Forgiveness here is not approval of harm. It is understanding without condemnation.

God’s Compassion Is Greater Than You Imagine

Many women quietly carry a question into this phase: “Father, can You still love me knowing all the things I’ve done?”

The answer of Scripture—and of the heart of God—is yes. God’s compassion does not shrink in the presence of trauma-based behaviors. In fact, Scripture reminds us that God’s judgment falls more heavily on those who harm the vulnerable than on the vulnerable themselves. Trauma arrests development. In many ways, survivors remain the little ones Scripture speaks of—those deserving protection, not condemnation.

If God forgives willful sin when we come with true repentance, how much more compassion does He extend to behaviors we never would have chosen if safety, love, and care had been present?

Grace does not run out here.
Mercy does not hesitate here.
Love does not withdraw here.

Freedom, Identity, and Purpose

As guilt and shame loosen their grip, something beautiful begins to happen.

You reclaim your identity.
You rediscover your gifts.
You grow more grounded and secure.
You begin to live from love rather than survival.

Phase 14 clears space for purpose—not driven by proving or fixing, but flowing from freedom. As you forgive yourself and receive God’s compassion, you are released to be the woman He created you to be.

You can shine.
Not because you were perfect.
But because you are healed, healing, and deeply loved.

Phase 14 Invitation

If you find yourself standing at the edge of this phase, know this:
You are not your worst moments.
You are not your coping strategies.
You are not the sum of what you did to survive.

You are worthy of compassion—especially from yourself.
And God’s mercy is already waiting to meet you here.

There are moments in healing when something shifts — quietly, tenderly, yet unmistakably.

This week, during the last week of introducing Phase 13 in our  General Meeting we offered a Release Practice. During it we witnessed one of those moments unfold in real time.

In Phasing Out of Trauma, we believe that healing is not just psychological. It is spiritual. It is embodied. And sometimes, it is deeply symbolic — giving our hearts and minds a physical way to express what has lived in us for far too long.

The Chains We Carry

Every women that comes into our meetings carries a myriad of heavy chains, made up of every shape and sized link you can ever imagine.  They carry these chains which have been fastened to them through the traumatic events they've experienced and the unresolved, complex, or compound trauma they still experience. Participating in our meetings, and working through the Phase Work allows them to slowly see the chains for what they are and to identify them, and to recognize what each represents. 

This past Monday, we addressed this in a very symbolic, tangible way. We shared a topic teaching on release, emphasizing what happens in the body when we hold onto the things that are chaining us down - emotional dis-regulation, stress responses, increased hormonal chaos, the havoc in the body that brings with increased tensions, immune suppression, and a constant folding inward into ourselves.

After the teaching, every woman selected a real, metal chain to hold. They held the weight of this chain, and during our Spiritual Practice, received an ivitation from Jesus to transfer something they were ready to let go of into their phsyical chain held in their hands. After they were invited to the foot of His cross, and given an invitation to lay their chains on the cross when they were ready.  

For some, the chain represented shame they’ve carried for decades.
For others, it symbolized fear, betrayal, self-blame, anger, or unanswered questions.
Many carried chains crafted from years of surviving on their own.

But every woman carried her chain — no one else’s.

Because trauma is personal. And the things we hold onto often feel welded to our story.

Coming to the Cross

One by one, women approached at their terms, when they were ready to place their burdens, their chains on the cross.  The cross wasn't glorious, it wasn't huge. It was simple, it was stable.

Some women were ready right away, and eager to give their burden to God, it was a welcome release they'd been waiting for for a long time. Others took time sitting with their burden, feeling the weight and contemplating the emotional release they were about to receive. Some seemed unwilling to let go - or perhaps incapable at that moment. 

Each response was holy, because healing is never forced on us, release cannot be rushed. God, and Jesus our Wounded Healer meets us exactly where were are - whether our hands are still tightly grasping our chains, they're still weighing heavy on our shoulder, or we're placing them into the hands of the one who bears all things with us, and transforms all things for us. 

The Beauty of Emotional Release

As chains began to gather on the cross, something sacred happened:

Faces softened.
Bodies relaxed.
Breathing deepened.
Tears flowed — not from despair, but from relief.

Some women stood with lifted faces, receiving joy as freely as they once carried pain.
Others rested in the quiet, letting God speak into the space the chains once occupied.

This is the mystery of release. When we give God what has held us down, our hearts make room for what can lift us up.

Release Is Not Forgetting

In Phasing Out of Trauma, release does not mean pretending the past didn’t happen. It doesn’t mean minimizing. It doesn’t mean ignoring grief, or  bypassing pain, or rushing to a “happy ending.”

Release means letting God hold what has been crushing us. It means laying down what was never meant to define us. It means trusting that Jesus — our Wounded Healer — can carry what our bodies and hearts were never designed to shoulder alone.

A Sacred Invitation

As the room grew still, one truth became clear:

Every chain has a place at the cross.
Every story is welcome.
Every burden can be surrendered in time.

Whether you are ready to release, or simply ready to imagine the possibility, you are not alone. Healing takes courage — and you have more of it than you think. There is room at the cross for your chain too. And when you’re ready, we’ll walk with you — gently, slowly, one brave step at a time.