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Phasing Out of Trauma
Phasing Out of Trauma

Phase Three

Once you've done the hard work of sharing some of your traumatic experiences in group, and all of it to God while you look at who has caused your trauma, or who has failed to address it with you, you're able to free God from the position of inquisitor, and allow Him to take his place as your Savior, while you build more security within the Phasing Out of Trauma Community.


We are happy to have you back with us to work through Phase Three.


I am safe enough to re-visit memories of my past
and go beyond the story to enter the hurt and pain.

I acknowledge God never intended for me to be
harmed. It was not His plan for me or some trial He
decided I needed to undergo.


We admire your strength, and desire to enter into this next Phase of healing work!  Know that we are praying for you, and we are here for you as you begin to access the pain and hurt your experiences have caused you, and meet God as your loving and protective Father.


Our Meeting Leaders, Small Group Leaders, and Mentors have been where you are - taking these exact same steps towards greater healing. Like them, you can expect to not have this Phase answer all of your questions, rather it will help to set you build upon the firm foundation you've acquired with God in the last two phases so you can move more freely, and give yourself more access to emotional balance. 

The Psychological Aspect of Phase Three:
I am safe enough to re-visit memories of
my past and go beyond the story to enter
the hurt and pain.

As you begin this Phase, you may recognize yourself saying:


“I couldn’t face it before, now I am safe, and I can access the pain I’ve endured.”


At this Phase, you are ready to explore the emotions in your story more deeply. Some examples
are anger, hurt, shame, disappointment, fear, and sadness.

Sometimes, we’ve pushed emotions so far away that we can’t even label how we feel.  We may need to step 
back and start by getting acquainted with the sensations we feel in our bodies. 


We were created as physical beings. Our bodies react to our experiences far faster than our minds can 
comprehend what’s happened. So simply noticing when our heart speeds up, we hold our breath, 
face feels flushed, we clench our teeth, our hands feel clammy, our stomachs are upset, or
have butterflies can help us to reclaim our emotions.


As we embrace our emotions, remember they are not good or bad, they are just feelings. 


When you experience intense feelings, you’ll discover ways to express the emotions in a healthy way;
yelling, crying, laughing, or whatever is needed. 


Finally, you will be able to ask God for wisdom regarding their meaning and see if there is an invitation 

to process them more fully or take action to bring you greater safety and security.


The Spiritual Aspect of Phase Three is:
I acknowledge God never intended for me
to be abused. It was not His plan for me,
or some trial He decided I needed to
undergo.

As you continue in this Phase you'll be able to recognize some truths about God and be able to say:


“God is love, what I experienced has nothing to do with love therefore no part of it came from God”

One thing we have come to rely on is that in the midst of our traumatic events, God never leaves
our sides, even though universally, our experiences have left us feeling like Jesus as He cried out
in Matthew 27:46, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

God did not create you to experience these horrible events in your life. He created each of us out
of love precisely because He loved us into being. 

God would not create us out of love to cause us to experience harm. 
In Luke 11:11-13, Jesus tells us we do not “hand [our] son a snake when he
asks for a fish[.] Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg[.]” 

And then Jesus continues and tells us, “If [we]
then, who [tend towards sin], know how to give good gifts to [our] children, how much more will
the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

God desired us to live in paradise forever, and he allowed himself to endure trauma through His
incarnation in His experiences as Christ Jesus. 

In Christ, we not only have a Savior; we also have a Wounded Healer, 
whose suffering is tied to our own and whose heart was pierced just as ours was.



Phase 3 Prayer Practices

Exploring Emotions

Exploring Emotions

Our emotions alert us to what is going around us and inside. They are our teachers. Please do not judge, edit, or avoid how you truly feel. Permit yourself to welcome the emotion.


  • Sit quietly in the sacred place you created. Breathe in deeply, exhale slowly, and feel your body relax.
  • Ask God for wisdom about your emotions related to your trauma story.
  • Spend time gazing at Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions.
  • Which emotions do you still feel around your trauma story today? Write them down.
  • See where these emotions lie in your body. Trauma is often trapped in our bodies. You can run through a brief body scan. Journal your insights. 
  • Journal thoughts/feelings around each emotion. Write what happened that caused this emotion in you.o For example, if you still feel anger or rage, write about the event or a person(s) who made you feel angry. Hold nothing back.
  • Thank God for these human emotions and for allowing you to accept them. Invite God to be with you now, acknowledging and holding these painful feelings. Sink into your chair as if you are sinking into God’s love.
  • For those who love art, try expressing these emotions in a drawing, painting, sculpture, etc.As you gaze at your creativity, what is God saying to you?
  • For those of you who want to Aromatherapy, choose the hydrosols and essential oils during this practice to help you access the specific emotion you’ve encountered. Inhale the aroma in3-5 breaths throughout the practice.
  • If after exploring this emotion, you find yourself preoccupied with it and unable to stop ruminating on it, go through an EFT tapping round on that emotion, naming the intensity and continuing until the intensity decreases to a 0-2.


Ask for wisdom if there is any more work, healing, or therapy needed around these emotions of your trauma story. For example, anger can come up when we think of our story. If it turns to rage or disturbs your well-being, it could be a sign that you need more healing work.After working with a specific emotion and finding balance, you may notice in a few days, a week, a month, or longer to “peel another layer” if the emotion is stirred back up. A teacher once said, “Our healing journey can be compared to peeling an artichoke. As a layer of pain/trauma is peeled away, slowly one gets to the heart.”

Body Scan

Body Scan

While in your safe place, find a comfortable position to be. You can lie down, sit, or recline as long as you are comfortable. 


When you find comfort, close your eyes and invite God into your space. Call to mind how He created you, knitting you together in your mother’s womb, lovingly crafting every attribute that makes you “you.” 


Ask God to give you wisdom, insight, and a keen observation during this time, and just pay attention to what you sense, making note of these findings in your mind.


Starting at the bottoms of your feet – notice what you are feeling and sensing. How are they interacting with the floor, chair, couch or bed.  Where is there tension? Where is there contact? Where is there lightness? Can you feel your breath reaching your feet?  How are your toes? Are they touching each other closely or curled under, gripping the floor? Are they splayed out relaxed and open or stretching and calling the breath down further into your feet? How do the tops of your feet feel? Are they cold? Are they extended and pointing to a wall, or the floor, or are they flexed and pulling the foot closer to the body? 


Move up your body part by part and ask yourself similar questions at each part moving through your legs, including your ankles, calves, knees, thighs, and hips. 


Pelvis (including your uterus, vagina, vulva, Fallopian tubes, bladder, colon and rectum and sacral spine).


Abdomen (including your large intestines, small intestines, gallbladder, liver, spleen, appendix, kidneys, stomach and lumbar spine).


Diaphragm (how it attaches to the rib-cage, how it separates the chest from the abdomen, how far it extends into the abdomen during the breath cycle, how small and tight it gets during the breath cycle).


Chest (including your rib cage, sternum, breasts, lungs, heart, esophagus, trachea, thoracic spine, shoulder blades, armpit, and sides).


Arms (including your collar bone, shoulder, upper arm, elbow, lower arm, wrists, palm and tops of the hands, and fingers top bottoms and sides).


Neck (including your cervical spine, trachea, esophagus, the muscles that run down the side of the neck, your voice box, throat, the bottom of your tongue, thyroid, and parathyroid).


Face (chin, jaw, gums, teeth, tongue, top of the mouth, back of the throat, lips, nose, nasal cavities, checks, eyes, eyelids, eyebrows, forehead, temples, ears, inner ear canal, hairline).


Skull (including the top of the spine, the back of the head, the top of the head, the front of the head, your hair, your brain).


Now, take 3-5 deep breaths and thank your body for the information it provided. When you’re ready, gently open your eyes and sit up. Take time to reorient yourself to your surroundings. Then journal the insights you were given during this time.

What is your body telling you?

Writing Out Your God Moments

God Moments

You have searched me, , and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.


Before a word is on my tongue you, , know it completely.


You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

 

 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there, if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn  if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Psalm 139: 1-9

Writing Out Your God Moments

Choose one of these questions to reflect on each time you visit this practice.


  • When have you felt God’s presence in your life?
  • When have you seen His presence in the life of another?
  • When have you seen His presence in the Bible?
  • Where have you seen His presence in the life of a Saint? 
  • How does it make you feel that God knows your thoughts, ways, and is with you wherever you go?
  • How does this make you feel about yourself?


At the end of your responses today write – God is the same then as He is now and will be the same tomorrow.

 

Return to this practice during the week of our “Open” Meetings to update your answers as you continue to grow, expand and explore.  Notice as you continue with your helaing if you’re able to experience more God moments than before. 

Writing Out Your Laments

Writing Out Your Laments 

A lament is defined as a passionate expression of grief or sorrow. We see the laments of King David in the Psalms. He poured out his heart to God with gut wrenching, authentic writings and prayers. Scripture tells us he was a man after God’s heart. We too have permission to lament to God. Read this brief Lament from Psalm 13.

 

1 How long, ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing the ’s praise,
for he has been good to me.

Writing Out Your Lament. 

Now it is your turn. Write what it is you’ve been feeling and experiencing; and let it all out. Hold nothing back. Say what is really going on in your heart and mind. God is big and can take it. What matters to you, matters to Him. (If you have not yet read Sacred Sorrow, you may want to read through it before starting this practice).

Here are a few prompts to help you get started:


  • What has happened to you? 
  • Where do you find yourself? 
  • What have you endured? 
  • What is your Vav Adversative moment? (Notice in Verse 5 the “but”)
  • What are your takeaways about who God is? and what He’s doing in your life?
  • What has God done for you or others in the past
  • What is God promising to do for you specifically?

Spend some time during this phase praying through the following scriptures with Lectio Divina.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”Jeremiah 29:11

 

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?Romans 8:31

 

For the eyes of the range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9

 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

Lectio Divina - God Never Intended Me to Be Harmed

Lectio Divina - God Never Intended Me to Be Harmed

Sadly, some of us have heard that our trauma was God’s plan or intention for us. Or some test we had to undergo. This is far from the truth. As stated in Phase Two: 

 

 God does not cause trauma. People do. 

 

Hopefully, you have spent some time engaging in the previous practices with God and are experiencing his love, goodness, and mercy for you. Recall that God is good. God is love. There is no darkness in God. He is not punishing you. His intention is to love you deeply, draw you closer into a relationship, and offer you compassion and healing transformation. This is the God we know. As you continue to spend time with God, you too, will know this in your heart.

 

A healthy parent wants what is best for their child. A normal parent does not harm the child. As the child grows and steps out into life, sometimes they can get wounded. The parent grieves. Offers comfort and help if the child chooses. It was never the father’s intention for the child to suffer pain. Even though trauma happens, nothing can separate the child from his mother’s love. Same is true with God as our parent.

 

Some of you did not have healthy parents and may even have had harmful parents. Our hearts go out to you. Our prayer is that you will see God as the perfectly healthy, loving parent as you move through these phases. 

 

Lectio Divina is simply reading scripture out loud, allowing God to speak to our soul. Some people, especially those who are auditory processors, benefit from listening to the scripture. Dr. Christine Paintner (2011) describes in her book; Lectio Divina the Sacred Art four movements in this prayer

practice.
 

The passage is read slowly three times.

 

1.      Listen for a word or phrase that jumps out at you. She compares this to chewing a piece of food. 

2.     Reflect on any images, feelings, or memories that stir inside you. She relates this to savoring the piece of food. 

3.     Listen for an invitation from God. Is He asking something of me? This can be compared to digesting the food. 

4.     Slow down and be still in God’s presence. This is more about being with God, not doing for God.  I think of this as the satisfying feeling and resting after a big Thanksgiving dinner. 

 

Spend some time during this phase praying through the following scriptures with Lectio Divina.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

 

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?Romans 8:31

 

For the eyes of the  range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. 2 Chronicles 16:9

 

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10


Reflection on God’s Character

Reflection on God’s Character

We all tend to attribute God attributes that reflect His creation or that we’ve found to be true of our parents or others in authority over us at various times in our lives. Part of this journey of phasing out of our trauma will be renewing our image of God.

 

During this phase, take some time reflecting on these characteristics of God. You may want to find some scriptures of your own as well. Journal your answers and insights.

 

 God is the Creator. What He made was good, pure, and beautiful. Gen. 1:31.

What part of creation brings you comfort or joy? 

How does it make you feel you were created good, just like Adam? 

God sees you as pure. How does this speak to you? 

You have always been and will always be beautiful in the eyes of God. What are your thoughts and feelings about this truth? 

 

God is infinite and beyond my understanding and yet I can have a relationship with Him. Isaiah 55:8-9.

 

How does knowing God wants to strengthen your friendship make you feel? 

 

What has your relationship with God been like?

 

What, besides your trauma, has gotten in the way of that friendship?

 

 

God created me in His image. Genesis 1:27.

 

What does this tell you about yourself and how important you are to God? 

What features of God are you most excited about having?  What features of God are you least excited about having?

God is Audient: one who hears. And He genuinely listens to me. Ex. 2:23-25, 3:7.

 

How good does it feel to be fully heard and understood by someone? 

What does it mean to you that the God of the Universe wants to take the time to listen to you, and hear what you have experienced? 

What do you need to tell Him? 

 

God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love. Ps. 145:8.

 When have you experienced someone providing you grace? 

When have you seen someone extend compassion towards you? 

Who or what has given you an abundance of love? 

Imagine God as the best parts of all these people wrapped up into one supreme being and multiply their grace, compassion, patience, and love by infinity!  What parts of your life or your spirit shout for joy at this knowledge? 

 

God’s spirit is in me, guiding, comforting, helping me. I am not alone. John 12:27, 12-15.

 

How does it make you feel that you are not alone and have guidance, help, and comfort in this journey? 

 

How hard is it to feel you can rely on God to provide you these things? 

 

When has he provided them to you in the past?

 

 

God deeply loves me. Nothing can separate me from His love. Not a thing! Romans 8:38-39.

 

As you reflect on this passage, how does it make you feel? 

 

Have there been times that you felt separated from God’s love? 

 

Take the time today to express that loss, sorrow, and rejection to Him. Let Him to speak to you and start the healing dialogue. Be patient, this may take time to fully heal and to fully hear God’s explanation, and to see where He was in these times. 

 

 

God knows you.  He knows you so well, even the number of hairs on your head. Luke 12:7.

 

This can be a scary concept. Most of us try to hide certain parts of ourselves from the people who love us in order to retain their love.  God loves you in spite of everything you’ve done. He loves you and knows you inside and out.  What have you held back from telling Him what He already knows and wants to hear straight from you? 

 

Does it provide relief or worry knowing that whatever you say will not be “news” to Him, but will only verify and validate His knowledge and love of you?

 

 

God works through my trauma. All things work together for good, even the hard times in life. Romans 8:28.

 

Although God did not cause the trauma, He does work through our wounds to bring about good. Do you believe this to be true for you? 

 

How have you seen Him do this in the life/lives of others? 

 

If God were to work your trauma together for your greatest possible good, what could that outcome look like?

 

 

God has my back. He is for me, not against me. Romans 8:31.

 

It might be hard to grasp this truth about our Lord in the midst of trauma. Recall a time when God did have your back.  What did He do for you? 

 

In light of this, what can you ask Him to do for you now, so you can rest assured He is with you and your healing efforts? 

 

 

 God is good.  Psalm 25:8

 

Since God is good, and He never intended you to experience this harm, what were His intentions for your life? 

What was His plan and purpose for your life? 

Can you trust that while trauma took away part of the plan - His purpose is still in effect, and He will continue to work with you to achieve it? 

How does that make you feel that your hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations are going to be resurrected through this process? 

Phase 3 Healing Activities

EFT Tapping Through Your Trauma Timeline

When we are asked to enter the emotional valleys we’ve avoided for so long, it can be surprising how much feeling there is. The unhealthy tendency is to stuff uncomfortable or painful emotions. The somatic practice of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a tool to help process emotions and allow us to release them.

There are several steps to EFT -

  1. The first is to name what emotion, memory, or physical sensation is coming up for you.
  2. Then you want to rate it on a scale of 0-10, with 0 being absolutely no problem for you, and 10 being something so big you simply can't focus on anything else because it's overwhelming.
  3. Then you come up with an "Even though statement" Where you name how you're feeling, and acknowledge that even though you feel that way you love and accept yourself. For instance - "Even though I feel this deep despair, I still love and accept myself."
  4. Then you're ready to go through the tapping points.  Point 1 is your Even though statement, Points 2-8 are the points you'll tap on as you move through the EFT practice.
  5. As you move through the EFT tapping points, you'll tap on each area while you say or think a brief statement, or simply allow yourself to feel the emotion and recognize what it's bringing up for  you. Ideally you want to be able to tap at least 5-7 times on each point before moving to the next, and you'll stay at point 1 until you repeat your "Even though statement" 3 times. 
  6. When you come to the natural conclusion of the rounds (repeating as needed while there is still strong feelings, statements, or thoughts) you take a few deep breaths
  7. Check back in with yourself to see how high on the scale the though/feeling/sensation is now.
  8. If the scale rating is higher than a 1-2 continue the process - this time your "Even though statement" will shift to "Even though I'm still feeling a little.... I still (or absolutely, or will continue to) love and accept myself. For instance, "Even though I'm still feeling a little despair and sadness, I will continue to love and accept myself."
  9. Sometimes one emotion will go down, and another will rise, or it will bring up additional memories or sensations. It's okay to continue going through the points being patient as you work through what your body, and mind are asking you to process. It's also okay to acknowledge if you don't have time to go into that right now.  Simply saying something like, "I know this is something I need to work on more. I don't have the time to do that right now, I will practice self compassion, and continue to love and accept myself, and my time limitations until I can work on this some more. I have plenty of time to resolve this, and I can move forward in healthy and positive ways with the rest of my day."

EFT Tapping Through Your Trauma Timeline

Aromatherapy for Plutchik’s Emotions Wheel

Aromatherapy for Plutchik’s Emotions Wheel

As I went on, still gaining velocity, the palpitation of night and day merged into one continuous greyness; the sky took on a wonderful deepness of blue, a splendid luminous color like that of early twilight; the jerking sun became a streak of fire, a brilliant arch, in space; the moon a fainter fluctuating band; and I could see nothing of the stars, save now and then a brighter circle flickering in the blue.

Ancient Art of Storytelling Part Two

Ancient Art of Storytelling Part Two

As I went on, still gaining velocity, the palpitation of night and day merged into one continuous greyness; the sky took on a wonderful deepness of blue, a splendid luminous color like that of early twilight; the jerking sun became a streak of fire, a brilliant arch, in space; the moon a fainter fluctuating band; and I could see nothing of the stars, save now and then a brighter circle flickering in the blue.

Where was God?

Where was God?

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