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Phasing Out of Trauma
Phasing Out of Trauma

Phase One

All healing must start somewhere. At Phasing Out of Trauma it starts here, at Phase One


I experience Trauma.

I desire God to be part of my healing.


We admire your strength, and desire to enter into this healing work!  Know that we are praying for you, and we are here for you as you continue this work. Our Meeting Leaders, Small Group Leaders, and Mentors have been where you are - taking these first steps towards greater healing. Like them, you can expect to not have this first Phase answer all of your questions, rather it will help to set you on a firm foundation based on truth and grounded in reality while holding onto hope of where you are headed. 

Psychological Aspect of Phase One:
I experience Trauma. 

When you find yourself at the beginning of Phase One you might be saying something like:

“I admit the trauma did happen to me. I am a survivor of _______.”

Some survivors of trauma minimize their experience, saying, “It was no big deal.” Or spend time comparing their experiences to others, you may also find yourself saying things like, 


“Well, I didn’t die, so I am ok.”


 Some survivors deny what happened, and refuse to admit what they've experienced. They say things like


“That didn’t happen to me.”


At this Phase, it is necessary you admit the trauma happened and that it is affecting you.


As you begin this phase, you now desire healing and wholeness from the trauma you experienced. Even though it may still be causing difficulties that show up day to day in certain relationships or specific areas of your life. 


Regardless of the traumatic event you endured, if you did not have compassionate and capable people supporting you afterward you experienced it to help you process it, that event can cause lingering manifestations in your life. 


Trauma is not the event itself; it is the aftereffects. 


Just like we are incapable of setting a broken bone, casting it, and caring for it by ourselves, we are incapable of witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event and healing from it by ourselves. 


And, just like a broken bone that isn’t set right will continue to cause pain, physical constraints, emotional distress, weakness, and depression; an endured traumatic experience left unprocessed will do the same. 


These effects start internally and take much longer to recognize. 

Spiritual Aspect of Phase One:
I desire God to be part of my healing.

Regardless of what your healing experiences have been, at the beginning of Phase One you may say something like:

“I recognize that therapeutic modalities are necessary and helpful, yet deeper healing comes from God.”

You may or may not have entered into therapy, counseling, or other therapeutic modalities to help you process your experiences and you’ve seen their limitations. 


Although you may not trust God at this point, you desire to deepen your relationship and allow his healing transformation. 


He longs to draw you close even though you may feel hesitant. 


God does see you and loves you far more than you know. 


That statement may not sound trustworthy to you yet; however, at the core of your being, you long for it to be true. 


You may have seen or heard how God has helped, healed, or made a way forward for others. 


You desire that in your life and are now hopeful He can do the same things for you. 


You are like the boy’s father in Mark 9 22-24; only the healing you desire is for yourself. 


You’re ready to ask Jesus for healing because,. “if [He] can do anything, [you can ask him to] have compassion on [you] and help [you].” 


Hear Jesus respond, “If [I] can! Everything is possible to one who has faith.” 


You may find yourself responding similarly to the Father,

 

“I do believe, help my unbelief!”

Starting this journey to phase out of your trauma will do just that.

Phase One Prayers Practices

Our Prayer

Our Prayer

Our Prayer is how we start all of our meetings, and what we offer you to start your Phase Work with. Regardless of what you've decided to do, we encourage you to begin your time in healing in this prayer.


El Roi, God who sees me, loves me, and knows me 

Grant me the courage to face

the effects of my trauma 

The wisdom to
understand their meaning, 

And the strength to enter
the healing process, 

So that I may become

the woman

I was 

created to be. 

Amen.


Choose one or more of the questions below to reflect on each time you pray this prayer. Journal your responses. 

  • How did you experience God’s love today?
  • What part of you do you want God to see today?
  • What courage do you need today?
  • How do you see your trauma showing up and affecting you today?
  • What wisdom do you need today?
  • What strength do you need today?
  • What part of your life do you seek to heal more fully today?
  • Who did God create you to be?

 

Set Intentions

Set Intentions

Setting intentions helps you avoid forgetting what you want to accomplish, finding yourself on autopilot, or allowing life’s distractions to take you in directions you don’t mean to go. You’ve set yourself on a path toward long-term healing, ultimately leading to full integration of mind, body, soul, and spirit! 

 

The habit of setting goals as you enter into your healing work is essential. No one can say what desires you “should” have, as setting intentions is highly personal. There is no rule over which goals you create or how many times you can set the same intention. Let your purpose be one that is reachable and achievable. For example, if it’s my first time praying a contemplative prayer, instead of saying, “I will not get distracted,” try, “I hope to feel safer in stillness.” 

 

In Phasing Out of Trauma, your intentions will be built on a foundation of something you already have. Remember, the purpose of this ministry is to heal your whole self. As you set your goals and desires, you can focus on different areas of yourself—mind, body, soul, and spirit.

 

We invite you to set an intention each time you enter into prayer. Allow your prayers to express greater peace, stability, clarity, hope, faith, joy, etc., or a decrease in depression, anxiety, turmoil, doubt, despair, etc. Set a hope each time you read, such as to gain a better understanding, build empathy, experience compassion, reflect, build knowledge etc., dispel lies, stop judgment, end criticism, let go of guilt, and so on. Set a desire when you come to the group; perhaps you want to listen intently, be in the community, build safety, receive compassion, become encouraged, and build consistency. Every time you meet with your mentor, try to set a hope. Examples might include feeling safer, letting go of secrets, building trust, building vulnerability, accepting kindness, receiving compassion, and accepting grace.

 

“My intention today in prayer is not to be critical if I get distracted – Lord, I ask that you help me be kinder to myself and accept this is a practice – not a perfect.” 

 

“My intention in reading this chapter is to gain more information about trauma – Lord, as I’m reading, please pause any distractions and temptations to gloss over the information I need to read about; help me understand trauma better through this time I’ve set aside.” 

 

“My intention as I come into group is to use mindfulness during the share time so that I can feel safe and less triggered – Lord, during the sharing, please help me to stay present in the room with the ladies, and not fall into flashbacks.”

 

This journey is yours and yours alone; you have permission to set life-giving intentions that are affirming, achievable, and that feel right intuitively. When you tune into your desires – ask God to help you achieve them. Recognize that you’re not being asked to reach your final destination today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or even next year. If you set an intention that is not achieved to the desired measure, that’s okay. Trust that God heard your intention and desires you to see it come to fruition. What God starts within you, He will bring to completion.

 

Reflection on Beautiful Soul

Reflection on A Beautiful Soul

Beautiful Soul, Let go of what hurts your heart.

Repeat,

It still hurts. But am fine.

I have lost my mind but found my soul.

I feel the feelings without becoming the emotions. I am Love.

-Lillian Villarruel

Reflect on the following questions as you allow the words of the poem to enter into your story.

  1. What is God asking you to let go of?
  2. How are the emotions keeping you from experiencing God's love?
  3. What are some ways to love yourself and love God?

Reflection on Psalm 40:2

Reflection on Psalm 40:2

In this first phase, you are ready to admit the trauma happened and desire God to be a part of your healing process. Several 12-Step programs talk about, “Hitting bottom.” Alone. Coming to Phasing Out of Trauma was a sign that you're done living this way. Asking for this Phase Work Packet shows that you want to get out of the pit. 


When we are at the bottom of the pit, there is no way out but to look up. Once we're able to look up, we can acknowledge The Trinity: God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are your higher power and see that they are all extending their arm out to you. 


All you need to do at this phase is reach out your hand and say, 


“Yes, I want out of this pit. Help me, God.”


King David wrote beautiful psalms and laments in the scriptures. He spoke authentically from his heart, and his laments were raw and gut-wrenching. He loved God and struggled with God. Not only did God hear David, but He also published these in His Holy Book. It is written that David was a man after God’s heart. 

 

 Look at the different versions of Psalm 40:2 below. Read each one out loud, slowly. Pause and sit quietly after you read each one.

 

 

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” NIV


“He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay, And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps.” New King James Version

 

“He plucked me out of a pit of confusion, even out of the quicksand; he placed my feet on a rock and established my steps.” International Standard Version

 

When you are ready, ask yourself the following questions:


  • What is God saying to you?
  • What is your response?


Journal what has come up for you.

 

Write Your Story

Write Your Story

When you are ready before you complete this phase, we encourage you to write your story. 

 

Although it might be difficult, writing your story, taking a pen or pencil, and physically putting it on paper can be highly therapeutic. Research shows a large portion of multiple areas of the brain becomes active when you take the time to physically write – which is different than if you type or use voice-to-text options. The regions of the brain that are activated when you write include the language center, cognition, memory, visual processing areas, pre-planning, motor control, and areas that take abstract thoughts and turn them into concrete subjects. These areas are housed in the prefrontal cortex, the anterior and posterior cingulate cortices, Broca’s area, and the hippocampus. You’ll learn more about these brain areas as you continue your journey. 

 

Knowing that these areas light up with the simple act of writing, what happens when we write a story? 


Our brain makes connections to unrelated subjects, facts, opinions, memories, feelings, sensations, and experiences. 


We believe journaling throughout your healing process and writing stories is essential. Your story is important; writing it out will help you retrieve information and make meaningful connections that you can’t by simply talking or thinking about it. If it’s not safe to keep a written record of your story, shred it or burn it. 

 

As a trauma survivor you may be afraid someone might read a written story. In that case, typing your story on your computer and saving it in a private file with an unshared password may be ideal. Writing it on paper and hiding it securely may be possible, and if not you can destroy it, or throw it away somewhere where it is safe to do so. 

 

At this point, because you're just starting out in your journey, you may not want to share your story with others just yet. We don't want you to feel any pressure to share. There will be plenty of time to share the whole or parts of your story as you move through the phases offered within this ministry. For now, it’s enough just to get it out. 

 

  • Take some time and write your story. Take a few deep breaths. And remember, God is with you.
  • Remind yourself as often as you need to that you are NOT ALONE.
  • Write about what happened and how it made you feel. If you can, let the pen or typing just flow. 
  • Share what feels safe for you.
  • Once you are done, read it out loud to God. Remember, He already knows everything you've put down, and wants hear it from you. Feel his compassion towards you as you read.
  • When you are done, Sit in silence with God allowing Him to hold your precious story. 
  • Welcome tears or any feelings that come up. Allow God to comfort you.

 

This is the beginning of your trauma story, and it is precious, important, and powerful. It is the story of a beautiful woman seeking the tender healing of her loving Father.

Phase One Healing Activities

Discern Your Mentor

Discern Your Mentor

If you choose to do the Phase work, we suggest finding a mentor to accompany you.

 

We know that the process of working through your trauma cannot be done in isolation. This is why we ask that each woman who is ready to go through the phase work prayerfully to discern who is safe and trusted.

 

Suggestion for Choosing a Mentor

 

1.They have experienced trauma (you need to work with someone who understands some of what you’re going through, even if their story does not exactly align with yours).

 

2.They have shared some of their trauma with you (they need to be open enough about what they’ve experienced to be able to empathize and share their own experiences).

 

3.They are further along in their recovery journey (we want you to journey with someone who has been where you are and can help you navigate this phase so you feel supported).

 

You can discern if you have a trusted friend or family member who is safe and healthy enough to have this unique role. The person must honor what you say and keep it in confidence – who will not share it with other friends, family, or others.


We understand that sometimes it's hard to find someone in your daily life who can serve in this capacity. Not everyone understands trauma, and not everyone has the ability to be available for you in the way you'd like them to be.  If this is the case for you, we do offer a Mentorship Pathway where we have trained mentors who can accompany you during your healing. 


Most of our Mentors work with Mentees for at least 3 months at a time. They meet typically once or twice a week for about an hour, and provide you structure, accountability to what you desire to accomplish, while encouraging you, and providing insights, some advise, and most importantly continual prayer. You can Request a Phasing Out of Trauma Mentor here. 

 

You can discern if you have a trusted friend or family member who is safe and healthy enough to have this unique role. The person must honor what you say and keep it in confidence – who will not share it with other friends, family, or the team members.

 

Mentor Role

 

  1. Your mentor is a listening ear who will help you process what you’ve read, heard, or watched as you explore the phase.
  2. They will ask you questions and share their experiences to help you reflect more deeply and hear what God is saying throughout the process.
  3. Your mentor is there to help hold you accountable for the work that you’ve decided to do. You will share with them what you plan on doing during the week.
  4. They are spiritual accompaniment. They will pray with you and for you throughout this Phase.
  5. If you choose to be mentored by a member of our team, they will provide you with Grace Notes, and a Weekly Rhythm sheet to help you become empowered, and to track the progress you make through this and future Phases. 
Trauma Timeline

Set Intentions

We all have an innate sense of time, position, and location.Our brains are highly logical and very ordered.We know where things belong and know when something’s out of place.While trauma was never intended to belong anywhere in human history, it has shown up time and time again.If we asked you to name 5 of the most traumatic historical events for our country, you would easily be able to name them, whether they took place during your lifetime or centuries in the past. We trust you know where these events fall on a timeline.

 

For this activity, you’ll create your trauma timeline. However, you will do it by thinking outside the box and not following the traditional view of a timeline—a straight line with a fixed position and events plotted along it at the top or bottom. Forget what you think you know and go with the flow—trust the process.

 

Step 1. Find the paper that is appropriately sized for your timeline. Only you know how big, how little, how wide, or how narrow your life’s story is.You are not limited to an 8.5”x11” piece of paper.Your paper can be as small or as big as you feel is appropriate for you – you can use tape to make it larger or use scissors to make it smaller.

 

Step 2. Choose a pencil/pen/marker/crayon/etc. to create your line with.Again, only you know what color your life feels like, how bold, or light it needs to be, how thick or thin it appears.

 

Step 3. Choose a point on the paper – any point. Again, only you know where your life starts on this piece of paper – yes, traditionally, timelines begin on the left edge somewhere close to the middle of the page – but this is your life – and it can start wherever you believe it’s most appropriate for you.

 

Step 4. Draw a line. Remember that we’re not asking you to draw a straight line – your line may have some curves, jagged edges, stair steps, mountains or valleys. Some lines may be dashed or spiraled, and parts of your line may overlap or circle back.Only you know where life has taken you. So, hold your art media of choice at your starting point.Consider your birth to the present and allow your line to draw itself.

 

Step 5. Add images, dates, and names to your line.See precisely where your trauma belongs, add something to the line to indicate your trauma, and then look at your and see if you can identify other events of your life. Mark your timeline for these events with images, dates, names, or phrases.

 

Step 6. Reflect on the line that you’ve created.Ask yourself the following questions:

 

1.Why did you start your life where you did?

 

2.Why does your line have the shape(s) that it does?

 

3.Are there any other events on your timeline that you can identify by the shape, placement, or repetition that you can also consider traumatic that you may not have in the past?

 

4.Are there themes that show up in your timeline?


 

 

Trauma Worksheet

Reflection on A Beautiful Soul

After you completed your Trauma Timeline, you will have a picture of your life in a non-traditional way that represents the events you've endured, and what it has done to you, and is continuing to do to you. 


Slowly and carefully look at each trauma on your timeline. 


Remember, we have “BIG T” traumas that are one-time or ongoing events that feel like “whacks.” 


We also have “small t” traumas that in themselves aren’t devastating, but if they happen multiple times, they can feel like hundreds of “whacks.” We start to feel like our needs are not necessary and our self-worth diminishes.

 

Take the time to fill in this sheet for any trauma you’ve identified. It’s okay if you can’t fill out the emotional and physical reactions yet – you’ll be revisiting this sheet in future phases.


Description of the Trauma

Time Frame the Trauma Occurred

Emotions You felt at the Time

Physical Reactions at the Time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Get a PDF Copy of This Activity

The Healing Power of Storytelling 
by Annie Brewster MD

This is a Phase Work Book. It addresses the Psychological aspect of Phase One - 

Admitting that we've experienced trauma. 


If you have a hard time understand how to start to tell your story to yourself, and can't ever imagine telling your stories to others, this is a great book to start your Phase One reading with.  


Annie Brewster will take you through a very therapeutic approach to looking at your stories, sharing key aspects of them to hone in on, so that you can begin to shift how you see your story, and notice patterns within it that will provide amazing insights as you continue your journey. 


Does God See Me? 
How God Meets Us in the Center of Our Trauma Healing Journey
by Magalie Previlon 

This is a Phase Work Book as well. It addresses the spiritual aspect of Phase One - 

I desire God to be part of my healing.


If you have wondered whether or not God has seen your suffering, and how He can help you heal, Dieula walks you through how she herself has healed from multiple traumatic events, and how others she has worked with have started their journey's as well.


This book walks us through a lot of the various part of healing and is a great introduction to show us what is in store as we continue our journeys.  It may bring up triggering stories, or topics. Please know that you are not meant to resolve them all during this Phase.


Dieula also provides lovely somatic practices which we expand on to bring God into them in our Phase Work Fellowship Reflective Workbooks. 

It’s Not Supposed to Be this Way 
by Lysa Terkeurst

This is a Bible Study Book - to help you draw closer to God, and enter into the Scriptures during Phase One


We understand that many of us starting this journey tell ourselves this exact thing:

"It wasn't supposed to be like this."


Here in Phase One we want to let you know that there are others out there who are experiencing that exact same sentiment, and so we offer you this Bible Study book as a recommendation to read during Phase One. 


This is not required, it is optional, and it's okay if you're not ready for a Bible Study just yet. 

This is a Heading

Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic 
by Paul Conti, MD

This is an Informative book - It will help to give you more information about what trauma is, as many of us don't really understand exactly what it is we've experienced, or we may only recognize some of our experiences as being traumatic.


This is an optional reading recommendation during this Phase.


Dr. Conti informs us in this book how wide-spread trauma is, and shares stories about its many forms. He also shares about what it does to us physically, how it affects our nervous system, and causes us to have reactions and responses that we wouldn't otherwise have. He shares stories about himself, and about various friends and clients he's served. 

The Healing Power of Storytelling with Annie Brewster MD
on Moments with  Marianne

As you contemplate telling your story to yourself and sharing it with others, we know reading a book about it may be a bit much!  So we offer you this video so Annie herself can share this information with you. 

The Healing Power of Our Stories  Joel Burt-Miller TEDxBrandeisUniversity

How our stories are connected, and looking at our stories with a new purpose. Helping us listen to our feelings, and share spinets of our experiences. And how when we had things removed from us we understand their purposes in more and more depth. He also shares what it takes to make changes in our lives. 

What is trauma? The author of “The Body Keeps the Score” explains 
Bessel van der Kolk on Big Think

Understanding how trauma affects us is important as we look to help resolve it in our lives. One of the things many of us believe is if we just put all of this "behind" us we'll eventually be "alright" however, Bessel van der Kolk tells us that our bodies keep a record of our experiences. 


We will read more about this in later chapters, for now we just want to introduce this concept to you so you can have a greater understanding of what it is you're experiencing. 

Understanding Trauma - Part 1  #complextrauma
Tim Fletcher

Tim Fletcher shares with us in this video how to understand trauma.  He provides a look into what trauma is so that as we contemplate our stories, or look at our timeline we can start to understand what the zigs and zags are, and why there's slumps, or spirals or the line become dashed or fainter at points than others. 


We will be hearing more from Tim as we continue this journey.

The Healing Power of Our Stories  Joel Burt-Miller TEDxBrandeisUniversity

How our stories are connected, and looking at our stories with a new purpose. Helping us listen to our feelings, and share spinets of our experiences. And how when we had things removed from us we understand their purposes in more and more depth. He also shares what it takes to make changes in our lives. 

When You're Ready to Move On

Once you've completed the portions of this Phase you believe you need to in order to move forward into Phase Two, we ask that you complete the form below to share your journey with us. With the exception of a few questions all of the information you share with us will only be used for internal purposes to help us ensure that the next woman who starts this phase has the best possible experience within it as possible. 


Where indicated below, we will share what you ask us to with your Leaders, and or Mentor.


We do ask that you prayerfully consider sharing a portion of your journey with us in order to help us encourage other women, and let our partners, host sites, and donors know the impact their partnership with us is having. Please know that we will only share what you provide, and will will never use your name unless you've specifically asked us to. 

I've Completed Phase One!

  • How satisfied were you with your experiences in Phase One?
  • What Prayer Practices were the most helpful to you?
  • What Healing Activities were the most helpful to you?
  • What Books did you read?
  • What Videos did you watch?